Sometimes friendships are one sided no matter how hard you try, there can't be words to describe the feeling of the moment you realize it was all for nothing.
I saw one time that friends are like trees, some are leaves and only here for a season, some are limbs that can break and fall off when they bear too much weight, and some are roots they will be with you for a lifetime. I now really believe that.
Letting go of a relationship with someone you thought was your friend is actually like getting a divorce. It's cruel, emotional and when the other person could care less, its even worse.
Investing in a relationship takes effort by BOTH parties and I found myself on the giving side and not much on the receiving side. Just when I thought the storm was going to pass, the tsunami hit and I was blindsided, I just never saw it coming.
So sometimes it's just OVER, and I am choosing to take this time to reflect and think about how I manage my relationships with friends in the future. I am quite jaded, I scar easily and the after effects I wear on my sleeves. I am leaving this to Jesus and HE will heal my wounds, Heal my spirit that has been insurmountably crushed. I am spinning like a top looking for a place to stop and the only place I have is in His Word that I will find new friends, new courage to strike out on my own, take new challenges and meet my fears head on. It the only thing I can do.
This is my commandment, that ye love one another, even as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. ~Bible, John 15:12-13