Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Where's the nearest bridge ?

Because I'm gonna jump off.

My life in a nutshell since August, three count'm three huge reports/audits due , with the big Kahuna State Audit Man coming to my office day after tomorrow. IF I have made any mistakes and he catches them it could mean MASSIVE FINES for me and my boss. I have spent the last three weeks buried under what seems like an insurmountable pile of files and stress. I have the worst boss on the planet, he is a jerk to put it mildly. HE knows how busy I am and yet, will ask me to trace down his 59 cents from Pitney Bowes, and refill the ink cartridges, take personal messages, answer his cell phone, menial tasks he could be doing to help me, while I am in the middle of this huge audit process. HE is micro managing me more and with more verve, than when I have little to do.
Today was my last straw. I cry everyday on the way home, I am at my wits end. I have literally gone over into the abyss.

So add to that: I turn 40 this weekend... and NOT 1 and I mean not 1 of my closest girlfriends, husband, kids planned anything for me, not lunch, shopping, movie, coffee. No special anything.
I am hurt, I'll feel stupid if there is a surprise party, but since I had to make my own dinner plans I highly doubt it.What upsets me is that I go to ALL of their parties, girls night etc...
So, I have decided to cancel my dinner party at the restaurant and spend the evening in my pajamas and some chick flick and a bottle of cheap wine.OR go to the barn and cry in my horses neck. 40 is NOT the new 30..

Sorry, I just had to vent today. IF one more person gives me one more bit of Straw my Back is going to break.
I know it sounds petty and selfish, but I was really hoping that turning 40 would be cool and festive like you see on TV. I've got to stop watching cable..:)

3 comments:

Sharon said...

I'm sorry things have been so stressful for you Jocelyn. It is so hard to work in a job like that. I have not had it quite that bad, but I have had jobs that I do cry on the way home due to the stress and inconsideration of others at work. I hope that you will be able to change jobs or transfer away from him. I will pray for you about this.

Happy late birthday. I can't believe you turned 40. It's too bad your friends neglected you. Perhaps they forgot? It is especially hard when you have been such a loyal friend to them. I know that hurts. I hope that things get better. I am sorry if my letter to you added the "one more thing" to your day. I did not mean anything by it other than to explain to you my concerns about internet safety. I guess I watch to many true crime shoes.

I honestly hope that your week will make a big turnaround and things get better.

Love, Sharon

Kathi said...

Jocelyn, I'm sorry about your birthday. Let me say it to you myself, "Happy Birthday." Turning 40 was a lot easier than 30 for me. I guess because I kept saying I was almost 40, for about 5 years, then when it actually hit, it was okay. I hope someone from your close friends and family does surprise you because you deserve it.

I'm also sorry about your stress. I will pray for you to find all the necessary items and that your boss would ease up a bit.

Oh, by the way, I just realized as I was going over my blog role and cleaning out old ones and adding new names, that you are not on my list, so I'm adding to my blog role today.

Have a happy Wednesday in spite of it all. I hope things get better really soon. Hugs, Kathi

20 meter circle of life said...

OK sweet pea...Saturday Oct 18-I too turn 40. You will be at the tack sale and so will I. Wild Hare (other end of town) we will have a 40 rocks birthday drink!!!