Saturday, April 11, 2009

I've been "outed"

Blogger Peeps get out your Depends because you are going to laugh so hard you will most definitely wet your pants.
This is me sitting on the bench for the first two innings. I have yet to prove myself, so I expected as much. This is proof to Shawn I was actually playing softball at a softball field. Not out drinking with JP2 and BBFF whilst he is in Oklahoma.

OK so onto my story: Ready? It's a doozy...
So I answer an ad in Clist for a women's softball team, I may or may not have read the entire AD, but that is besides the point now.
So I show up for practice on Thursday with make up on, my big pink bag, sparkly hat and glasses, ponytail the whole nine yards. I'm pumped and ready to play.
I'm rocking the ponytail by the way.
Anywho, I take a gander at my fellow players and realize something odd. I am the only one with a pink bag, make up and ponytail. Getting my drift so far?
These ladies are wicked cool and just great players. Yet still I'm singing the song in my head " which one of these just doesn't belong?"
So, I'm accepted into the realm... Then I get the schedule emailed to me. Then it hits me like a lightning bolt and I quote.
NO GAMES SCHEDULED FOR 6/14 for Gay Pride Weekend.
HOLY SH**, I have just joined a Gay and Lesbian Softball League !!!
Now for those who know me, this is really funny because I'm relatively clueless and have zero gaydar.Even my lesbian friend was cracking up at the thought of me out there saying to myself.
Why does everyone have short hair? What's up with the hairy legs?
So she promised me that she would take me to one of the games on her big , loud motorcycle and come watch me play a game or two so I can get some street cred with the other players. Cuz, that's how I roll......
IN fact, I like it as they are hard core players and thats what I love. No crying in baseball !
So I am the token lipstick lesbian as of today.
So what is even funnier is that we were given " cards" from the Rose City Softball League , kind of like a Membership ID. Free beer at gay bars( I wonder if shawn is with me I will still get the beer), discounts for gear. etc.
SO LADIES I AM NOW AND OFFICIAL CARD CARRYING MEMBER!!!!
So go change your pants and have a great Easter!
Hugs and Love from the OUTED SIDE!

8 comments:

Kristina P. said...

That is awesome!

I am going to start a bet to see how long it takes before you get hit on. I say 2 practices.

Jocelyn said...

I got a couple of nods today.!
My husband thinks it's the funniest thing I have ever done.

I will be the talk of the friend circle for a very ong time.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHHAHABWAHAHBWHAHAHAHBAAHAHAWWWAHAHAHAHABWAH.....SNORT!!!

Oh my freaking cow! I haven't read something this funny on a blog from any of my blog friends.....in...uh....EVER!!!! GAH!!!


I am truly...no lie....laughing my butt off...loud as can be. I hope my kids don't ask me what's so funny...
"Oh...dears, it's just a blog'


BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Snort!

JP.....you have totally...completely...made my night, my day, my week...and I mean that in the.......
uh...'straightest of ways', ya know.

ROFLMAO!!!!

I sure hope you'll keep us up to date on your practices and games.

Is it ok....if your husband watches?

He might like that.

(LOL!!!)

Oh Jocelyn...I don't think I've ever heard of something so funny. Maybe more so, that I kind of know what you're like from reading your blog. I'm only just a little surprised that you didn't walk off the field and try to hide.

Good for you for taking on the challenge. lol!

Happy Easter, my friend!!
~Lisa

word verification: dammi

Jocelyn said...

PSA:
The reason I didnt quit when I had figured it out is because I had already commited to playing, I really like the other ladies they were so nice and cool, and doing so would have made me look like a complete HOMOPHOBE which I am not.

No Im sure not everyone in blogland is going to be supportive that Im playing, I may even get some reverse discrimination from the team, but Im there to play and have a wicked cool summer!

Paige said...

Yeah, you will still get the free beer--but I suspect you will be there with your new teammates and they will never know you are not a lesbian. It will be fun when he meets the team for a drink there sometimes to open some eyes!

I was in a lesbian wedding once--now there is a story. I looked like a big ball of tin foil

wilsonc said...

Jocelyn,
the most interesting things happen to you! I laughed out loud when I read your blog tonight. So freakin funny!

jennifer said...

Girl, I am so bloomin' proud of you for stickin' to it and realizing it's all about the game and NOT about the bedroom!

OK, but I have to ask - did you mention to your teammates that you are married to a man?

jennifer said...

The vision of you showing up in all of your pink prettiness? That has me giggling :D