The Kitties are killing me

7 am : Wake up
7:01 Check for stray cats in my living room
7:02 Make Coffee
7:04 Make toast
7:05 Check facebook, check emails in case Shawn wrote me something, check WORK email.
7:11 Get coffee and turn on news.
7:40 rattle child out of bed.
8:00 get into shower and ready for work
8:25 ready to leave and time for KITTIES to go outside for the day.

Seamus, in Shawn's chair or already wanting outside. If he wont budge I yell OUT SEAMUS, and he runs out the patio door.
Tristan, still in the bed on Shawn's pillow snoozing away. Every morning he acts as if this whole go outside deal is something new. I toss him out he yawns , stretches and then meows at the back door , like Ok I'm good , can I come back in now?

Hello?? Hello??

HELL EFFING O!!! Can you not lip read my mee-ows???
He has even gone all Evil Knievel and tried to scurry in between my feet. A couple door thuds to the noggin and meetings with my foot and he has all about stopped that.

This goes on and on and on.

We have to keep the patio door open at night because too many strays were getting into the garage and spraying everything. You know where they are chilling out now?

In my living room on my white sofas.
I have caught no less than 4 strays in my house over the last few months.

Operation Feline Relocation is about to commence.
This is absolutely ridiculous that there are so many strays in my cul de sac.
UN NEUTERED STRAYS AT THAT!!