Last night was the usual routine before bed time.
But lets add, a raging cold coming on and I can't breathe.
1. Let dogs out one last time while changing into PJ's and last minute stuff.
2. Let dogs in and the cat is hollering it's bed time.
3. Crawl into bed all cozy and flip on Leno.
4. Large cat decides to cuddle with in my 1/2 inch personal sleep bubble.
5. Large cat decides to give self bath so hard I can hear it and its jiggling the bed. This is right in my nose/eye zone. This is a personal peeve when I'm drifting to sleepy land.
6. I thump cat and say stop it! He doesn't. I toss him to end of bed, he comes RIGHT back and starts his bathing again.
7. Repeat of #6 numerous times until I yell TRISTAN! KNOCK THAT SH** OFF!.
8. My yelling woke up the Head of Ranch Security aka the Blue Heeler and she comes rushing in to see what the yelling is about.
9. Kitty hates Security and bails, Security chases known perp and thus wakens 2nd Security Officer Blonde.
10. Officer Blonde now thinks perp is outside and must be hunted down. I find my slippers in the dark but glasses are no where to be found. Little Toe meets Dog Food Bin. OUCH.
11. Let Security out it's now 2 am, screw that if they want back in, they know where the kennel is.
12. The Perp is now back on my bed on my pillow , security detail is barking and my toe is throbbing.
13. Get spare glasses and head down hall to Benedryl Central Closet. Pop two and head back to bed.
14. It is now almost 3 am. The Perp finally goes to bottom of the bed.
15. 6 am, the perp now needs a drinkie out of the sink( only likes running water ya know ) and the kitchen door opened so he can go have breakfast as his morning concierge is not home.
16. Fumble to bathroom, go potty and realize I have 4 eyes staring at me. Seamus brought in breakfast he had eaten the head and left me the rest. GAG. Seamus is meowing at my slippers to make a big deal out of his grand gesture. Typical Male.
17. Take a shower, go to work, cough on bossman and told to go home.
18. Hiding under covers until Spring.