Thursday, February 4, 2010

It all started with the darn cat....

Last night was the usual routine before bed time.
But lets add, a raging cold coming on and I can't breathe.

1. Let dogs out one last time while changing into PJ's and last minute stuff.
2. Let dogs in and the cat is hollering it's bed time.
3. Crawl into bed all cozy and flip on Leno.
4. Large cat decides to cuddle with in my 1/2 inch personal sleep bubble.
5. Large cat decides to give self bath so hard I can hear it and its jiggling the bed. This is right in my nose/eye zone. This is a personal peeve when I'm drifting to sleepy land.
6. I thump cat and say stop it! He doesn't. I toss him to end of bed, he comes RIGHT back and starts his bathing again.
7. Repeat of #6 numerous times until I yell TRISTAN! KNOCK THAT SH** OFF!.
8. My yelling woke up the Head of Ranch Security aka the Blue Heeler and she comes rushing in to see what the yelling is about.
9. Kitty hates Security and bails, Security chases known perp and thus wakens 2nd Security Officer Blonde.
10. Officer Blonde now thinks perp is outside and must be hunted down. I find my slippers in the dark but glasses are no where to be found. Little Toe meets Dog Food Bin. OUCH.
11. Let Security out it's now 2 am, screw that if they want back in, they know where the kennel is.
12. The Perp is now back on my bed on my pillow , security detail is barking and my toe is throbbing.
13. Get spare glasses and head down hall to Benedryl Central Closet. Pop two and head back to bed.
14. It is now almost 3 am. The Perp finally goes to bottom of the bed.
15. 6 am, the perp now needs a drinkie out of the sink( only likes running water ya know ) and the kitchen door opened so he can go have breakfast as his morning concierge is not home.
16. Fumble to bathroom, go potty and realize I have 4 eyes staring at me. Seamus brought in breakfast he had eaten the head and left me the rest. GAG. Seamus is meowing at my slippers to make a big deal out of his grand gesture. Typical Male.
17. Take a shower, go to work, cough on bossman and told to go home.
18. Hiding under covers until Spring.


Kristina P. said...

I'm pretty sure this is all due to the fact you were watching Leno. :)

Cactus Jack Splash said...

Sorry, I hate kitty bathes at night too.

wilsonc said...

Awww feel better soon Jocelyn. We know your going to be okay cuz your still funny ;)

Mrs Mom said...

I feel ya baby.. I totally feel ya. Take care, rest easy, and send up a signla when you are better!

20 meter circle of life said...

take it easy doll, call me if you need anything!! Let me know about lunch tomorrow

The Wife said...

Man, after all that, I would have just called in! Get well soon!

Marilyn said...

Love those nights.
Only thing different at my house is being stared at by four sets of eyes during every trip to the bathroom.
Sleep tight tonight :)

Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Country said...

You know that cats rule the roost. That's what happens when you kick one off the bed. Let that be a lesson to ya.

An American's Observations said...

If you would have let the Head of Ranch security have her usual "Dad is Out of Town" spot, this would have never had happen.

Desert Rose said...

Histerical!!! Sorry about the toe!

jennybean79 said...

Oh my gosh - ha ha! The bathing is the worst. I can't stand that licking sound and/or the stank when cats bathe in such close proximaty to my ears and nose. So funny about the security too.

I hope you feel better soon!

Stephanie said...

Bahahaha! That's great! I mean, not for you - but funny for us. I like that "Head of Security" our German Shepherd Dog holds that position at my place.

Jocelyn said...

AO: You know you are correct, if I had let her have the 'Daddy is away I get to sleep on the bed" spot. This would have never happened.
You KNOW how much I hate kitty breath/baths in my face at night.
IF you read the comments I am not the only one who hates it.

Fantastyk Voyager said...

My dog does the wash up thing every night before he goes to sleep. It drives me crazy.

Lately, my half Siamese cat has taken to yowling as he strolls around the house at 3 in the morning.

I honestly don't know which is worse!

jennifer said...

If I had taken Benadryl in the middle of the night I would have been toast!

I'll let you know when Spring gets here.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

ROFLMBO! Some night are just like that....kinda sucks, though. But it's also least for other people reading about it. hehe!