Wednesday, October 21, 2009

No skillz to pay the billz....

I am firm believer that every horse should have a JOB. Pasture Princess, Barn Beauty, Hay Burner are not JOBS.Star seems to think that her job is to look pretty, eat, poop, etc..
So, I showed Star a slide show of other ponies that actually work for a living.
This was her response

Starting with this.
Mamma.. First off I can only really run in a 80x120 indoor lighted perfect footing arena.
That track is like waaaaaaaay long and it's dark, and wtf with the midgets on their backs? You know how I feel about mini's.
ME: Star we don't say things like that, it's impolite.

ugh.. moving on

STAR:OK, now this looks fun , but I must say the only time I am going to come to a sliding stop on my backside in my lifetime is to the gate for my dinner. I might pull out a tail hair.
ME: The only time you go anywhere fast it's for your dinner.
STAR: Jumping? Look at that pansy with his feet all tucked up under him like he's jumping over gators. You really want to put your butt in the air for the world to see? You complain about breeches all the time.
ME: This is not about me, it's about you getting a job.

STAR: ( eye roll ) whatever.... When's lunch?

STAR: JEEZUS is that HAIR on the breast collar and brow band?
ME: Focus Star we are running out of options.
STAR: Yeah.... no... that screams rodeo, and what do they have at rodeos? COWS....
ME: So I guess this is out of the question?

STAR: O.M.G.. You are hilarious. How about you pretend to be the cow?

ME: Well here is another option. Dressage. You have to perform a test of your skills .It's lots of cantering in circles and no jog trot. Very fancy and everyone's doing it.

STAR: Translation ... Mom wants to go to fancy places with her fancy friends with their fancy ponies and drink margaritas and I do all the work.

ME: No Star, you need to find something you are good at at let's do that.

STAR: I'm good at pretending to be a stork, I'm good at finishing my dinner, I'm good at being the boss mare in the pasture. What else do you need?

ME: We need to work towards a goal and show something for the board bill I pay every month, your shoes, your vitamins and your fancy digs you get to live at.

STAR: Ouch, I think my foot hurts, Ouch, oh no I'm lame, oh my belly hurts, I thinks it's colic. I better go lie down. Can we talk about this later? Like after lunch?

So we still have no goals for this year and Star is still a gorgeous pasture princess.
We'll have to wait and see what 2010 brings !


mrscravitz said...

This is just to darn cute! Sounds about like a conversation I have with my horse EVERY DAY! LOL. This should be a childrens book! LOL

The Wife said...

LOL! There's nothing wrong with being a princess. Well, that's what I tell everyone! Sorry Star, even this princess has to work!

Jocelyn said...

Its a tough life being a princess. I should know!
Sis and I have determined that she is a show diva, and that I just need to win the lottery ASAP.

Cactus Jack Splash said...

What a great post

jennifer said...

Cute! Get her a horsey tiara and leave her alone. Not everybody (or every horse) can handle the job of Princess.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

lol, lol lol!!! I've got a pasture princess, hay burner, too. Baby Doll likes to impress me with the lovely way she can roll in the mud, too.
"Hey Mom! Look how athletic I am! And Look at how artistic the mud stains are, too!"


Even my chickens pay their own way around here.


Christina said...

Everyone needs a pasture princess... I think you found