Sunday, March 20, 2011

Where have I been?? Grab a Kleenex.

I know I deserve a flogging for leaving the blog unattended for so long.
I apologize.
No excuse really.

This is a picture of my two boys, Lucas and Logen.
They are on top of my former Mother in Law Sylvia. This picture derives so many emotions for me, its almost too much.
You see, Sylvia is being ravaged by the cruel disease of Alzheimer's. She is in the latter stages and its heartbreaking. She would have been so proud to watch the boys grow up to see who they have become and will be. She was such fun and loved these boys with every fiber of her being.

Can you stand the cuteness? I always dressed them so cute. I sure miss that and I miss being their Momma at this age.
This is what all the crying has been about lately. My youngest child is now a US Marine.
We went to San Diego for his graduation last weekend and it was overwhelming and awesome at the same time.
I couldn't be prouder and yet I still feel empty.

Its a new leash on life I have been given and yet I wasn't ready to give up the old one.
Logen wasn't the easiest child to raise. Shall we say " Mommas boy" ?
So I go through baby pictures , cry and reminisce of how fast time flies and what I may have missed along the journey.
So as my youngest leaves the proverbial nest I ponder , what Gods plans are for me and my future. He has figured out his and now Mom has to make a new life for herself! Amazing what happens when the babies leave the nest isn't it? Cruel and joyous seem appropriate really.
So, I am going to grab another Kleenex and go through another pile of pictures and then maybe plan a life for myself in between.
Hugs and Love to all my Blogger Peeps.


Sir Darby said...

You have had so many changes this wonder you fel a bit weepy. You have a lot to be proud of, hang in there.

Mrs Mom said...

girl, we need an email convo in a serious way. Dear Husband's Dad is fighting with Alzheimer's (or a form of it,) as well as Parkinson's. We totally feel that pain.

Proud of your boys!! Proud of YOU!!

Now, live-- really LIVE-- every single day.

Anonymous said...

Congrats to being a proud new Marine momma! Tell him Congrats from me too! Marine boot camp is no joke. They'd laugh their asses off if they knew how easy we have it in the Air Force.

What you're talking about is totally one more reason why I have no desire to have kids. I can't imagine what a roller coaster they put you on emotionally throughout life.

An American's Observations said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
An American's Observations said...

It was a wonderful ceremony and it was great to watch Jocelyn beaming with pride over her young Marine. I think the picture says it all.

She is already making plans to go visit him at Pensacola NAS.

jennifer said...

Jocelyn, I really can't imagine the empty nest. I will feel very lost too.

HUGS! I know you will enjoy whatever adventures come you way.

I do hate that Alzheimer's has hurt Sylvia. Been there with my grandmother and I know how terrible it can be.

JJ said...

Aww, I can see why you've been weepy. Your son looks so handsome all dressed in his fancy Marine duds, semper fi!

My dad is a Marine and it's something he's been proud of his entire life as have we all!

I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL; Alzheimer's is so awful :(

gtyyup said...

I don't have any children, so I can't say I know how you feel. But I do know that you should be VERY proud of yourself for raising fine, outstanding kids. It's not easy in today's world. Enjoy the memories as you look back through the photos...and look forward to a great future for all of you~

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Awwww...your story could be my own in a few more years. My heart breaks for you, because I can well imagine what you're going through, beautiful Mama bear.
I really love the photo of you and Logen. What special moments to cherish forever.

I'm so sorry that Sylvia is suffering. Prayers go out for her today.


AKPonyGirl said...

You have been in my thoughts alot lately as we are moving into the wonderful season called breakup. It's almost warm enough for a trail ride!

My philosophy about kids has always been that as moms we need to give our kids two things: roots and wings. Roots to grow and wings to fly. Looks like you have done a good job!

Tell him thanks from me for his service to our country.

Desert Rose said...

you have touched a upon a suject we all face sooner or later in life and it does not always have to do with an empty nest! good luck on your quest to find you path!

Merri said...

and what a handsome young man! i can see why you are so proud of him.
- The Equestrian Vagabond